Activation Tuesdays

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Put the Who before the How


Last weekend was a magical weekend of birth and death… 

On Saturday, my friends the Brothers Koren recorded a new album in the studio with a multi-camera shoot for a music video. They invited me to sing on the album and asked me to conduct the 20-person choir they pulled together for the album. It was an absolute blast!

Then on Sunday I officiated the celebration of life for my partner’s uncle. He was a psychologist for the VA, and an absolute gem of a human. The tributes were funny, heartfelt, and deeply moving. 

So these themes of death and rebirth have been on my heart and in my head.

They show up all the time for entrepreneurs as well… especially when you’re answering a big calling. 

What I find, though, is this…

We tend to focus on the “HOW,” when the “WHO” is usually what has to be dealt with for the “how” to appear and work. 

Figuring out the “what” is usually about identifying and executing on the strategic and logistical work of shifting from what’s been to what’s emerging.  

This usually brings up a lot of security issues, which only amplifies our mind’s penchant to try and figure things out! It also requires you to deepen your trust in the inner voice that’s calling you forward. 

People tend to struggle as they seek to ‘figure out’ the what, but lurking under the what are two critical ‘who’ issues. 

In my life and in my experience with clients, when these aren’t addressed and attended to, we put the brakes on energetically, which makes things exponentially harder… and usually clouds the clarity we need for the work of the “what.”

The first “who” is YOU!

When your soul calls you to your bigger calling, that’s the beginning of a rite of passage. You’re called out of a life and business built to prove their worth into a life and business built to express their contribution. 

One is fueled by reactivity to the wound.
The other is fueled by the calling of the soul.

It’s a massive death and rebirth, and letting go of an old identity can be tough. 

Entrepreneurs often unconsciously tie their self-worth to their achievements and the roles they’ve inhabited. Founders tie it to the companies they’ve built. The fear of losing this identity can be paralyzing, and we often don’t even recognize this as a fear that’s holding us back! 

Then there’s “THEM”

Saying goodbye to who you’ve been includes saying goodbye to other people, or restructuring the relationships you’ve had with others. That includes family and friends as well as team/employees and the audience you built for the work you’ve done. 

I’m an incredibly loyal person and many of my clients are as well. We feel loyal to the people we’ve served, the team we created, and the thing we built. Some of these things have to shift when we step forward. Not everyone and everything can go with us where we’re going (and they might not want to)! 

It’s in doing the work to consciously complete what’s been, that you’ll gain the opening for what’s next. Without it you’ll probably find yourself reverting back to your old work as you struggle to take meaningful steps forward.

If this resonates with you, take some time away from trying to figure out the “what” and spend some time with the “who” that is you and the others in your world.

As you do, the new world that’s waiting for you will emerge faster than you might even think possible.

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