#MondayInsight:

Ever feel like the magic you bring to your work disappears when you try to talk about it? You’re not alone. 

I had lunch yesterday with a dear friend who’s been incredibly successful in the personal development world—lots of media appearances, multiple bestselling books, the whole nine yards. 

During our conversation, she told me that she’d worked with a publicity person who attended one of her in-person trainings, and they were blown away by what they experienced. 

Afterwards, the publicity person said, “Where is the leader I saw in that training room in your marketing and messaging—because I don’t see her!”

This hit home for her, and honestly, it’s something I see on the regular. 

If you’re like so many people I work with, you do incredible work behind closed doors. When a client steps into your world, you’re fully present. Your gifts are activated, the gloves are off and the game is on. When it’s really good, magic ensues and the results are amazing. 

But when you try to talk about the magic that happens in your world? Something goes south. It feels flat and disconnected—like the magic evaporates before you can even get the words out. 

Here’s a Little Secret…

The solution might be simpler than you think.

In all my years of helping people with their messaging, one of the most basic (and highly effective) things I do is to ask my clients to talk about their magic without trying to “market” it. I’ll say, “Just describe it like you would to a friend over coffee. Don’t try to sell it—just share it.”

What happens next? They start talking in their natural voice using the words and phrases that are in their voice. I write it down, ask a few more questions, and write that down, too. Then I put what they said in an order that makes sense and read it back to them. That’s when their face lights up: “Wow, that sounds great!” And I reply, “Yeah—this is basically what you just said!”

So maybe it’s not that you “don’t know how to talk about the magic you do.” Maybe it’s that you—like so many of us—have two things working against you:

1. Perfectionist tendencies, born from the need to prove your worth and value (as a means of belonging).
2. You’ve let “experts” tell you how you should speak in order to market yourself, and in the process, you’ve inadvertently stripped away the most essential element—you and your essence.

Let me give you an example. The friend I mentioned earlier? Truth is, she’s a minister at heart and when she’s in her heart, her business is her ministry. But when she “markets” herself, the beauty of that ministry gets zapped away and her message flattens out. 

But when she allows herself to minister through her messaging, it packs a punch, resonates with so much heart, and people respond to it in big, big ways.

Here’s the principle at work: 

When WHO YOU ARE and WHAT YOU SAY in your marketing and messaging line up, people feel the resonance in the truth you share.

Without that, it falls flat.

Who you are—your essence—carries a particular frequency that is unique to you. When your messaging doesn’t reflect and express that essence, there’s no aliveness in your words and people can feel it (so can you).

On the other hand, when you give yourself permission to be brave and actually say what you wanna say and let the words fall out—without trying to “get it right”—your words will come alive. I guarantee it. When you let yourself be bold and brave, people don’t just hear what you’re saying—they feel it. And that’s what moves them.

Let’s talk about the energetics of messaging…

Think of yourself like a violin, and your message as the bow that plays the strings of your instrument. If you aren’t being YOU in your messaging, there’s no instrument being played! That bow only meets the strings when who you are and what you share are one. 

What You Can Do With This Right Now

Next time you sit down to write some copy, give yourself permission to NOT MARKET. Don’t try to appeal to an audience. Don’t try to get it right. Don’t try to convince anybody of a damn thing. Allow yourself to be moved, and that’s what will move the people you’re here to serve.

From a tangible “tool” standpoint, this can be easier when you’re actually talking to a real human… because you know how to do that!

So think about a single person you know and love—a client you adore or a friend you trust and just write to them! Literally start with “Dear so-and-so,” and write to them. If you use silly phrases when you talk to people, use them. If you swear when you get riled up, let the cuss words fly! If you feel vulnerable and tenderhearted, share your heart. 

The point is to make it human by speaking to a human, even if it’s in your writing. 

Your marketing should be an extension of that connection, not a departure from it.

That’s when things get more purposeful, more lucrative, and a hell of a lot more fun!